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Posts
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OK, I know he is the POTUS, Commander in Chief of the entire military and he was in charge when Osama went down, but Geez, Steve Urkel would have a better chance of getting thru Navy Seal Basic training than this dweeb!
The new Obama Navy Seal Action Figure
See HERE
Time for another laugh..
You might have to watch this twice, just to figure out what you just saw,
then a third time to see if Lenny was one of them…I can’t believe someone could think of this??
Kelsey,
That was not me. But I have been in French airports, and the staff there are rude, and all the BS. Oh I can tell you some great stories about my run ins with security at French airports.
I told them in no uncertain term what I thought of the French, thier lack of spine, manhood and fighting ability (based upon my Dads WWII storys).
Needless to say, they were not happy when I exited security, especially after saying,” if wasnt for the US you Frenchie homos would be speaking German right about now”, followed by “anyone care to Collaborate or switch sides”?
Does that make me a bad person? (as if I cared)!
My friend told me that some years ago he took his father to France, on arrival he was asked for his passport, which he was struggling to locate. The French immigration officer started to become impatient and started to drum his fingers on the desk causing some fluster, ” you should have had this ready, have you not travelled before” he said snappily. The father said “the last time I was here no one was interested in looking at my passport”, “and when was that” the officer sneered. Father looked him in the eye and said “It was D Day”
Posted By Jeff Vickers on 18 May 2011 04:10 AM
My friend told me that some years ago he took his father to France, on arrival he was asked for his passport, which he was struggling to locate. The French immigration officer started to become impatient and started to drum his fingers on the desk causing some fluster, ” you should have had this ready, have you not travelled before” he said snappily. The father said “the last time I was here no one was interested in looking at my passport”, “and when was that” the officer sneered. Father looked him in the eye and said “It was D Day”Jeff Vickers,
That was hilarious.
My Dad (A WWII vet) used to say when the Nazis rolled into France, the French Army said “We will fight to the bitter end with both hands! Then they held up both hands (one containing a white flag).
My Dad said he found a lot of French rifles laying on the battlefield in excellent condition…
Never been fired
And
Only dropped once!
All joking and kidding aside, there are alot of surplus Lee-enfileds in the military surplus arms market over here in the states.
Also the Taliban etc. use them alot in the mideast (along with mausers etc.) because they easily outdistance the M-16 and there arent alot of 50 caliber long distance sniping rifles assigned to the troops!
Enfileds- a WWII legend, that was one accurate rifle!
Lenny E thought you may like this, as we both have a warped sense of humour.
ALERTS TO THREATS IN EUROPE : BY JOHN CLEESEThe English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France ‘s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”
The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.”
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is canceled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
— John Cleese – British writer, actor and tall person
hahahaha, Thanks Jeff,
I think I posted that here a long time ago, but thanks for the 2nd laugh! That ranks right up there with Monty Pythons “Ministry of Silly Walks”.
Heres a good one from Russia. I think loosely it translates to “Kitten doesnt want to stop smoking”
See HERE
And of course, a John Cleese oldie but goodie…Ministry of Silly Walks
Really quick favorite from Monty Python:
Military drill.“Squad! Camp it – up!”
Tom,
With the current debate on gays in the military that old clip becomes extremely relevant.
I got a clip by email the other day, and its hilarious. I put it in the swamp under ‘Bikini Wax” .
Posted By Jeff Vickers on 23 May 2011 06:43 AM
That is some mean kittyJeff,
Ive come accross some mean pussies in my life, but that puss took the proverbial cake!
Jeff,
I had a young lady ask me once if I smoked after sex.
I honestly relpied..”I dont know, I never checked”.
Posted By Tom M on 21 May 2011 09:15 AM
Really quick favorite from Monty Python:
Military drill.“Squad! Camp it – up!”
Oh heres a keeper I just got this from a buddy of mine in PA. Mad Max meets fisherman!
I hate invasive species and think this strategy could be used on the Rio Grande to solve the illegal problem.
For Extreme fishing see HERE
After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test by the National Health Service,
a guy decided to have this next test carried out while visiting friends in San Francisco, where the beautiful
nurses are allegedly much more gentle and accommodating.
As he lay naked on his side on the table and the nurse began the examination.
“Don’t worry, at this stage of the procedure it’s quite normal to get an erection.” said the nurse.
“I haven’t got an erection,” said the man.
“No, but I have,” replied the nurse.
Moral: Don’t have this procedure done in San Francisco!
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