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Daddy, how was I born?
A little boy goes to his father and asks ‘Daddy, how was I born?’
The father answers, ‘Well, son, I guess one day you
will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
Scroll down. You’ll love this
.
‘You got Male’
Joke 2-
WOMEN WHO KNOW THEIR PLACE
Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul,
Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.
She recently returned to Kabul
and observed that women still walk behind
Their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem happy to maintain the old custom.Ms Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, ‘Why do you now
Seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?’The woman looked Ms
Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation
Said, “Land mines.”
snort snort!!
heres a new one.
Sven goes to Olies farm. Lena answers the door. She says Olie is out in da barn. Sven goes out to da barn and walks in on a very disturbing site! Olie has some Al green on da tune box goin and some candles lit. He has his shirt off while he is showing his moves to his John Deere. He licks da tire, he rubs da fenders, he strokes da exhaust stack.
Sven has had enough of dis!!! Sven yells, “Olie! Vat in da vorld are you doin!” Olie jumps and says “Sven, I have to level wit you, Lena and I vent to see da terapist da odder day. Vee are are having marrige problem. She said I should try being more sexy to a tractor”!!!
David, I love those Ole and Lena jokes.
My fav….
Olaf died in a fire and his body was so badly burned the morgue needed someone to make a positive ID, so they called up his buddies Swen and Lars
Swen went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet and he said “Yaa he’s burnt pretty bad, Roll him over!”
So the mortician rolls him over and Swen looks at his Asshole and says..’No dat ain’t Olaf”.
The mortician didn’t utter a word but thought it was very strange.
So they brought in Lars to make the ID.
Lars went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet and he said “Yaa he’s burnt pretty bad, Roll him over!”
So the mortician rolls him over and Lars looks at his Asshole and says..’No dat ain’t Olaf”.
The morticians says “How can you 2 guys tell?”
Well they said, “Olaf had 2 assholes!”
“What, he had 2 assholes? ” the mortician exclaimed!
Swen and Lars replied in unison :
Yaa everyone in town knew Olaf had 2 assholes! Whenever the three of us would go to town together everyone would say:
“Here comes Olaf with dem 2 assholes!”
David and Tom,
I am glad you liked that one. That was told to me by a guy at Huber (US ATH company). It cracked me up.
BTW Google “Ollie and Lena joke”s. They have multiple websites for this. Clean jokes, Dirty jokes. Who Knew?
Although that was my 1 Ollie and Lena joke, I may post a few more if you astute fellows don’t beat me to it.
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